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Let me guess. You went to Cuba for a long weekend and met a seemingly mysterious and charming local at Fabrica del Arte or at some other paladar in with live music. One kiss and exchange of social media handles later and you're officially in a relationship. Welcome to Dating a Cuban.
Cubans are notorious for their charm and their confidence toshow you it. We don't blame you forfalling in lust in a weekend. No one does, not even Camila Caballo in herfamous 'Havana' hit song.
But, I hate to break it to you,you aren't alone.
If I had a dollar every time someone messaged me (onInstagram) a version of that story, I could buy an overly priced motorcyclealready on this damn island.
Dating a cuban and the love culture in general here is hard to explain and even more complicated to understand. Though, anyone who's spent significant time here knows what I'm talking about.
In some unspoken language, we all do. We all know what'shappening and we all keep our mouths shut. I mean, after all, it isn't ourbusiness. But I'm willing to share a few observations I've learned over theyears.
So before you recharge a cell-phone or send any moneythrough Western Union, let me try my best to describe and give you some tips onhow things work here on the island of lust.
And by no means is this a blanket explanation of every Cuban-foreign relationship. I myself would be a hypocrite to state that, as I am a Cuban-American engaged to a Cuban-Russian born (its complicated…).
So no, this does not apply toeveryone. But it does, indeed, apply.
1. Cuba's Bad Economy Creates Avenues of Desperation
First things first: Cuba's economy. It's no surprise to anyone that Cuba isn't exactly experiencing its 'Golden' age.
With wages low and opportunities even lower, for many theCuban dream no longer is a dream inside the country.
Cubans look north. They look south. East and west. Just about anywhere but Cuba for their dreams for a better future.
It's something everyone here seems to have in common. Itunites the country in some bizarre melancholy way and everyone talks about it.It's the social glue that bonds us all together.
And because of this, Cubans have tried various differentmethods to leave the island or make their situation on it much morecomfortable.
That's where you come in.
2. Dating a Cuban 101: Jineteros
To the seemingly naïve foreigner,many don't know what a 'Jinetero' is. Though, in Cuban culture, ‘jinetero' is aterm we grow up with.
Jineteros or Jineteras in thesimpliest form are hustlers in any way but most known for being in the sex industry.Whether for a day, a week, or for an entire relationship.
Yes, I said it- an entirerelationship.
We have met some jineteros thatwill fake being in love to continue an ongoing relationship with a foreigner. It'sa sad truth, but it does happen. They will have their own families on theisland and when the foreigner comes, their partner vacates the home and therest of the family plays along. Theywork together for the week.
Of course, like I said not every relationship is this way but if you expect to be dating a Cuban you will absolutely have to know what a jinetero is.
3. It will Be an Expensive Relationship
Expect to pay…. For everything. Unfortunately, few Cubans have the money totake their partners on a proper date to wine and dine them. That shit doesn't happen here.
If you're used to your partnerstaking you different places and having them pay or sharing costs, this will definitelytest you.
Because besides the costs ofgoing out to dinner and dates, you will have to get to Cuba and most likelygift them things they and their family needs. Oh yes, the. Family is alwaysincluded in Cuba. Always.
The real costs are maintainingthe relationship. Want to call Cuba?EXPENSIVE AF
Want to talk to them on theinternet? EXPENSIVE AF
Want them to leave the country with you to start your life together? SUPER SUPER SUPER EXPENSIVE AFFF FOR YEARS.
But if they are worth it, then you won't care. Here are some apps you'll need in Cuba.
4. Cubans Cheat… A Lot
I know this is particularly hardand uncomfortable point to write, but they likelihood of your Cuban cheating onyou while you're not in Cuba is enormous. Whether you're okay with it or not, its really apart of the culture.
And weirdly because its so prevalentits still taboo to talk about. Its likewe all know its happening but pretending its not.
Ojos que no ven, Corazon que nosiente (Eyes that do not see, heart that does not feel).
Really though: Cubans cheat andthey do often.
When there's nothing to do all day and the culture very open with sex in general, the field is wide open. Plus its also very hard to find out what you're partner is doing inside the low connected island all day.
I recommend having an honesttalk with yourself and your partner about what you expect and your values.
5. Dating a Cuban = Moving Incredibly Fast
I'm laughing writing this pointup but here's a typical storyline:
- Day 1: You meet and have fun
- Day 2: You Meet the Family
- Day 3: The Proposal
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Ok that's a bit of anexaggeration, but true. Cubans date insanely fast compared to foreigners.
For example, foreigners take months to decide if they are actually in a relationship or not, Cubans are moved into their in-laws in a month, have a ring, and call each other 'maridos (husband/wife).
I'm serious. Lavalife cost.
In conclusion, don't be weirded out (and I am warning you) If you get proposed to on your 3rd or 4th visit and already having their mom calling you her son or daughter in law.
If you think its going too fast,just try to explain to your partner how things are a bit faster than what youare used to. Don't feel pressured into things if your gut is telling you somethingelse.
Overall:
If you're traveling to Cuba as a female solo or in a group, please please read my tips on female travel in Cuba. In short, Cuba is a fun and extremely safe place for females. Magic dating website. You'll just get lots of catcalls! 🙂
Catching a Cuban eye is veryvery (extremely) easy to do, but knowing what to expect is hard. They will charm the shit out of you but youhave to be careful who really has good intentions, as in any relationship, withanyone, from anywhere.
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Many Cuban-Foreign relationshipsare very beautiful and we know many long -lasting ones so of course take this blogwith just precaution.
All I ask is that if he or sheis constantly asking for money or material items to do a hard look. Tall singles. I advisestrongly against be sending large amounts of money on the regular to your Cubanboo.
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In other words, have fun and be safe!
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If you need help planning, as always let us know!
